If happiness can be defined by tears and laughter, I think last night might have been blissful for me. I had this anxiety about attending the Welcome Party for my school, especially because of these ridiculous feelings of loneliness and selfishness swirling in my head. I have to take the time to write a full report in my journal, but I am glad to day that I spent almost four solid hours talking in Japanese to many different people. With 25 new teachers (and never ending bottles of beer and tea), the party was a swarming mass of drinking and talking.
I worked up the nerve to brave the crowd on my own, taking a bottle and walking to up to different teachers that I knew. Traditionally, you ask to refill the cup and they drink after you pour their glass for them. However, I should have known better to pour for my friends, especially the younger crowd because they would take an empty (or pour out an untouched/sitting) glass and make me drink first. I found myself drinking just as much, if not more, than what I was pouring for. The teachers were glad that I was not only making the effort to do this on my own, but to speak and understand them in Japanese as well.
I was happy because Nakata (Kazuyuki)-sensei complimented my on my ability to speak and understand Japanese, which is tough for me because he is an English teacher. I was just happy that after eight months, he’s starting to acknowledge that I do exist. I think it’s in part to my befriending, Koichirou and Uru-chan, who are parts of his upper-20somethings circle. I was able to have a heart to heart with Ikenari-sensei. I think out of all the "Japanese Dads" I have, him and Namura-sensei are the most caring and fatherly to me, though Namura-sensei is more of the "crazy-cool-out of his mind awesome" uncle type for me. I also got talk time with Takahashi-sensei (Judo coach; Taka-san), and he reassured me that the teachers not only remember me, but miss me as well.
I’ll admit it, at one point, I did start crying while talking with Toshiko (another English teacher), espcially since she listens to my terrible Japanese. Taka-san and Uru-chan would later set out on a mission to cheer me up. I’ve just felt so lost lately at work, especially since I can’t confidently talk in Japanese to any of the teachers when I am NOT drinking. I also talked with Uru-chan at great length. He truly is my drinking partner, and very much like an older brother to me. He reminds me of Nathan, my "sempai" (upperclassman) from the wrestling team in high school.
I wish though that I had bought my electronic dictonary YESTERDAY, so I could have used it last night at the enkai. Though, I will say that Namura-sensei had the best mantra for the evening:
"BEER ONLY, KAREN!"
"HAI! Ryokai!" *insert genki military salut and bottle swinging*
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